Preach Off!

Everywhere I go, people on the street keep stopping me to say "Man, I am so excited for this preach-off I keep hearing about." I wasn't so sold on the concept, but, you got to give the people what the want. So, heres how I propose it goes down:

The first contestant will be given a randomly selected scripture to base a message on. The congregation will then sing a multi-versed song, which will be all the prep time alloted to the contestant. As soon as the song ends the sermon must begin. Each sermon must contain an introductory illustration, which should be followed by three points and then some form of conclusion. All of this must be completed within five minutes. We will then begin the process again with the next contestant, and so on. At the conclusion of the contest, the competitors will line up at the exit of the sanctuary and a tally will be taken of who receives hand shakes from the exiting congregation. The handshake total will be added to the number of exclamatory comments (Amen, Preach it, etc.) received during each message. The individual with the highest score will be declared the winner of the preach-off and receive first in line status at any ensuing potluck.

or something like that...

Its just a thought.